First Time
by KayDeeBlu
Summary: *Armada* There's a first time for everything...Alexis/Starscream


**First Time**

Temporal beings could never be expected to conceal what genetics dictated. Nor could they be expected to deny innate tendencies toward unreasoned sentiment. But the soothing spectacle the human female's eyes were eliciting was not what had him so bewildered. No, it wasn't that at all.

It was the hushed pretenses caressing his spark that had him caught.

"What is it, Alexis?" Starscream asked.

Iconic truth and vivid emotion stared back. A clearing on a stormy day.

"Alexis?'

Cautious strength gathered itself before a reply finally made its way out.

"I don't know, Starscream. I don't…"

"Don't what?"

"I want to tell you…things…but I don't…I don't know if I should."

Starscream peered down at the teenager standing near his feet. Youthful radiance glowed like a cadmium reactor splitting the cosmos wide. So abiding and pure, so willing and natural. Immeasurable vorns had never surrendered anything close. Had he overstepped his bounds in encouraging a reply?

"I think about you," Alexis said. "When I'm with my friends…when I'm at school…when I'm doing my homework…"

"You…think about _me?_"

Alexis nodded. "I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but I…I can't help it…I'm sorry."

Stunned silence collaborated with the remorseful disturbance penetrating. Starscream inhaled deeply. Oxygen and carbon atoms circulated copiously through open wind intakes. Megatron's condescending disregard never had this much affect. Having the chain of command continually beat into a mech brings about much tolerance. At least then preparations could be made and expectations upheld.

But as the red and white Seeker looked out to the horizon, the sun's rays in the distance, dutiful expectations were no where to be found.

"What do you…think about…about me?" Starscream asked slowly.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yes."

"I don't understand. Don't humans think in concrete terms?"

"Yeah…we do…"

"Then that isn't nothing."

Sullen annoyance perpetrated Alexis' face. A discontented sigh followed. "It is when the terms aren't meant to be fulfilled…listen, Starscream, I've gotta go…this was a bunch of rubbish…I'm sorry…I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Through with making anymore of a fool of herself, Alexis started to head out but the urgent tone marking the Cybertronian's voice stopped her immediately.

"Terms can be fulfilled, Alexis. But I can't complete them…whatever they may be…if you don't tell me what they are…"

Standing very still, feet rooted to the ground, Alexis closed her eyes. Rampant fear coursed through her veins. She wanted to rearrange…rearrange the pieces of the puzzle so that he didn't fit. So many times it had been there, mental recourses of what kept her up at night only to be promptly shoved back down where it needed to stay…

Her back facing him, Alexis opened her eyes.

"I can't."

Footsteps, behind her, placing himself within her reach…soft tidings entrenched in chaos…unaware of how to proceed only knowing the destination had to be reached…

"I am not easily mislead, Alexis."

He was so close. She could feel it. Too close. More than she could bear.

Turning around, Alexis tilted her head upward before quickly looking away. How they won, she didn't know, but the tears brimming in her eyes ran down her cheeks anyway.

Alexis exhaled a massive sigh.

"I know you don't really like most humans…we've talked about that tons of times…but I can't help that I _like you_, Starscream…"

The Seeker remained shockingly quiet. Guided sincerity was an unknown variable. Sincerity held ulterior motives meant to annihilate. _No one was that sincere…how could they be?_

"I am humbled by your kindness," Starscream replied.

There was more, that much he could sense easily. Some things were just impossible to disguise.

Gently, the ground received the Seeker's weight as both knee joints planted themselves onto the grass, orange optics eye level with the conflicted female in front of him.

"There's something you're not telling me," Starscream said suddenly.

Instinctively, Alexis took a step backward. _If he only knew_...how her soul bled in his absence, how mindful reactions clung to every beautiful facet of his frame just so that she didn't feel alone…

Words tumbled uncontrollably. They were leading her now.

"Sometimes, when my parents and my brother are gone, I sit in my bedroom and write your name over and over in my notebook…know why? Cuz I feel like that's the only way I can be close to you…"

"I enjoy your company, Alexis," Starscream replied. "You've always been so patient and honest with me. I thank you for that…but I don't think I'm following…we are close to each other now…is that what you mean?"

Hesitant brown eyes cast an embarrased glance to the ground.

"No…it's not…and I don't want to show you cuz I don't want to freak you out…so why don't we just forget about it and not talk about it?"

"Is that really what you want?"

Holding her head low, Alexis gave the most viable answer left.

"What I want and what I can have are two different things, Starscream."

The Seeker wasn't convinced. "Then show me…show me and we won't ever speak of this again. That is the problem with you humans, you think everything is always about you…"

Exasperated, Alexis threw her hands up in the air. "Fine!"

Wide eyes took in the formidable sight he was. Lethal firepower adorned his shoulders, enough to level an entire city to ash if he so chose to do it. Sprawling wing span held a glowing red sword that could slice through every muscle and not even think twice about it. And the way he was waiting…_it scared her…what if he decided at the last moment this little charade was a bunch of slag?_

Taking a deep breath in, his face nearly touching hers, Alexis stepped forward. _He wanted to know…_

Extending her hand, fingertips ran themselves down his cheek. Staying still, Starscream made no movement, watching as she leaned in, unsure…

Battle was for the strong but emotions were for the weak and as her lips brushed against his, there was no right or wrong, no death or life…just her and the softness covering his every rivet…a gateway to the peace always eluding him.

Pulling back, Alexis took a cautionary step backward. "Is everything…okay? I just did what you wanted…you aren't…mad at me are you?"

Starscream shook his head no. "I'm fine, Alexis."

"Okay…you sure?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"Yes."

"Okay…I just wanted to make sure."

"Alexis?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you feel better?"

Alexis smiled and nodded. "Yeah, Starscream…I do…"


End file.
